Christmas Time

I was thinking of a song today. The song is called "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year". I was thinking of this song as I was walking through Target. The first accident that made me think of this song was actually a lady who trying to park her Ford Excursion in a space that it was just not going to go. I sat patiently for the first five minutes while she backed up and tried the same thing over and over again. Then for the next five minutes I sat a little impatiently. She finally realized that her bus was not going into the spot so she backed out and drove away. I quickly filled the spot with my more economical Ford Explorer. I thought to myself "Its okay. Its the most wonderful time of the year." I approached the store. I said, "Am I really going to do this. There are eighteen thousand cars in the parking lot, most them home-school type minivans, and I am going to walk in there." I told myself I must. I must do it for the white elephant party, which it will be another post but I hate those too. I trudged onward and inward. Into the store I went. I was thankful I did not need a cart because Herman the cart boy was no where to be seen. I walked through the middle of the store trying to avoid the women's and kids clothing section. (Side note: Isn't funny that this is the only time of year that you will see lots of men in the women's section and lots of women in the men's section. Huh.)
Anyways. I made it past Granny, who was determined to go as slow as possible through the candle aisle in her stupid old person cart, and into the toy section. It was at this point that I realized the flaw in my plan. I was supposed to go around the toy section, and now I was knee deep in toddlers who wanted toys now and on Christmas day. Grandparents who are determined to get there precious little grand tykes the biggest and the baddest toys. Cousins, Uncles, Aunts, Moms, Dads, all clamoring and shoving just to get little suzie that one improperly proportioned barbie that has just come out. A little kid is crying to my left, I still don't know what I want to get for this stupid party. I pummel my way out of the toy seciton and into the bleakest section of the store the camping/hiking section. Who wants camping gear for Christmas. Thats when I saw it. It was the one, the best gift ever (for a white elephant) it was... a Target brand Nalgene bottle. Yes, I said to myself, that is perfect. It only costs four dollars and it could be funny, but it could be used too. I have at this point completed my mission. Then I realize, I'm still in the store. I have to pay. I quickly walk the long way around avoiding the utter mayhem of the toy section. I make it to the cash registers. I am only two people from being free. One, Two, oh joyous day its my turn. I pay and then run out as quickly as I can saying to myself, The person who wrote, "Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" must not have shopped for a white elephant gift at Target during Christmas time. I don't know but lets be reasonable about this folks. Online shop, that all I'm going to say. Until next time Peace be unto you.