Rules of Engagement in Relationship Warfare

So this being the first post in while I wanted to discuss something that pertained to all of us. Arguments. What are the rules for arguments? Well I will say one thing do not do what this one guy did a few days ago. No, I am not talking about me, I am talking about some goober in the restroom at the Davis Field House at BJU. So I was in the bathroom, yes its what I do, and a guy came in. He was talking on the phone. I was interested in the conversation immediately because it sounded a bit heated. I was able to hear the female on the other end of the line. I quickly became aware of the fact that they were arguing about getting off the phone with each other. "Huh," I said, "That is worthwhile to argue about." Well as I finished my business the argument was getting even more heated. I flushed the toilet. All of a sudden I can hear plainly on the other end of the line,
"ARE YOU IN THE BATHROOM?"
"No." Goober says.
I hear this and take pity on the girl for dating such an idiot liar face. I then decide to get back at him for the girl. The toilet is flushed again. The stall door is slammed. The sink is turned on full blast and the paper towel dispenser is used multiple times. Yes. I was going to make sure that she knew that he was in the bathroom. I did not hear much conversation after the second time I needed to get paper towels. I felt good about myself after this. I think that if I can be the public defender of females against guys who totally don't have it together. I don't think that I will always have it together but if I can help out a girl with a stupid guy then I will. I hope all of you other males will defend against this stupidity.
Thank you!